Through a magical fluke, (not a magical flute, I hasten to point out), my posts here have been erased, so I thought I’d take this crisitunity to write an introduction post. Initially, I met it with the same lip-biting anxiety usually reserved for checking my bank account balance, but I soon realised this was the perfect time to put my patron saints to use.

My patron saints this week are Seamus Harper and Will Graham.

Seamus Harper is my patron saint of Getting the Fuck on With It. He’s not impressed by my whining that my posts have been erased. He’s too busy working. He doesn’t have any answers. He just Does. Unfair stuff happens to him and he Does. Things get erased and he Does. He moans, he drinks, he fails from time to time, but the work gets done under Seamus Harper’s rule.

Will Graham is my patron saint of It Could Be Worse, No Really Seriously It Could, No Seriously You Want To Try It? Will Graham has everything working against him. Even Seamus Harper looks at him and says, ‘Yeah okay maybe take a break.’ I told Will my blog posts were gone. He calmly pointed out that if the person I’m supposed to be able to trust most at a vulnerable time doesn’t frame me for murder tonight, I’m bowling 300 compared to him.

Has anyone tried to eat you today? Then kindly shut up

I needed that, and I needed to lose those posts. So here’s my introduction, albeit in a backwards fashion.

I’m Malty, and I’ll be writing here, about patron saints and television, feminism and family, goodbyes and introductions. I hope you’ll join me.


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